We can all agree that men were more chivalrous "back in the day", but what has changed that allows people to question this topic?
For starters, I want to clarify that I have asked three of my friends these questions (two guys, one girl) and there were some of their responses were quite similar.
Is chivalry dead? Why or why not?
Guy #1: Personally for me, no, but not under the same classic definition. I do it because it falls under being a good person.
Girl #1: I guess. Overall, you can see that things have changed, but it all comes down differently to every individual.
Guy #2: You mean for me? Like holding a door open or giving up seats for old people?
A friend told me that he thought chivalry is dead because of certain girls. For example, there was a line of people going through a door, one by one. Each person opened the door for the person behind them. All of a sudden, this one girl decides to slip through the door without holding it for him and the door slammed right into his face. Do you agree that this is why chivalry has grown rare?
Guy #1: I mean, yes, it's annoying, but I just accept the fact that there will always be scum; so I take solace in the fact that the good ones appreciate it.
Girl #1: It's like stereotyping, but if you run across these types of people, you're going to have a bad time.
Guy #2: Some people are stupid. I don't think chivalry is dead as you can always find someone with very kind manners and etc., but I think it has greatly declined over the years to the point that it is pretty rare.
What about in relationships? After a period of time of dating, do guys become too comfortable with girls?
(Note: Guy #2 was asked more than just this question.)
Guy #1: Well, I've never had anything last that long, but I'd like to think that I would always at least offer to carry things, and I understand the need to spend alone time with me. However, I can't pass judgement on that since I don't know all the details.
Girl #1: Again, we can't make one assumption after seeing a couple of examples. I think fights and arguments can happen, and it all depends on every individual person. People can take each other for granted at any length of the relationship
Guy #2: Could be just that specific situation. I think it's silly to expect certain boyfriends to be chivalrous. I mean, it's a good characteristic, but I think, someone would know what type of person her boyfriend is. If he never exhibited any qualities of a chivalrous guy, then how could you expect that person to change? The other point is that in this day and age, with increased rights and standards for women, a lot of men's view of women have changed from the weak girly type to whom I should open doors for to the strong independent female type to whom they are capable enough to carrying their own suitcases. Thus, carrying suitcases for women would somehow undermine their status as a hardworking or independent woman. I think society doesn't look at girls anymore as defenseless weaklings, which is why there is a driver for chivalry. More than ever, people look at women as equals. They don't feel the need to give up their seats or hold open doors for them. It's more of a side effect of the changing times. I think all people, men and women, have a more feminist mindset. Like, take for instance, if I lived in the 1950s, I would be more inclined to give up my bus seat to a woman, whereas, nowadays, I only give up my seat to old people or children. After all, women have legs too, so how are they more deserving of a seat than me? Although sometimes I am prone to random acts of kindness and will give up my seat to women. All in all, I just think people don't value chivalry as much anymore. Many women don't care if it's given to them anymore and men don't care to give it out.
I've heard some girls say this before, myself included: If I was a guy and had a girlfriend, I would always be nice.
However I realized that all girls would most likely say something like that, but guys would also say: "If I was a girl and had a boyfriend, I wouldn't go all crazy about this and that"? The only reason why they would say that is because they're saying it from their gender's perspective. I mean, naturally, all guys would say that and all girls would say the opposite, but if they were really the opposite gender, it wouldn't be that way, right?
Guy #1: I dont' know how much I can say on this since I've been told I'm mature beyond my years, but it boils down to the fact that when you're with the right person, you shouldn't have these thoughts. Nonetheless, every relationship is a compromise, and if something does come up, when you're with the right person, you work through it and figure it out.
Girl #2: I think it can be a cultural thing that girls seem to react that way, but I think everyone has it different. Having a lot of boyfriends, yes, everyone is different and also seeing other relationships too. I think there is a societal perception that makes us feel that girls say that a lot. Then again, if you're not feeling satisfied and having issues with your boyfriend being this or whatever, that's a whole other issue. Ultimately... Communication issues. That's what it really comes down to.
Guy #2: Yeah, I agree, which is like the whole thing with the battle of the sexes. Women and men value different things. Guys say that because men, in general, think: "Hey, if you want me to help with your bags, just ask!" Where as, women value the act of kindness itself without direction: "I shouldn't have to ask you to help, you should already want to!" This is why it's hard for men and women to put themselves in each others shoes. I will say that if I saw my girlfriend struggling with suitcases and did nothing, then I would be like, "What the heck's wrong with me?" Overall, I do believe in chivalry. I think it's lame if you're chivalrous to a girl when you first meet because you're just being that nice, so she will like you. Rather, for me, I would take more pride over time being chivalrous to my girlfriend because I've grown to actually like/love her, so performing nice acts would be something I would do to show affection.
Thus, from what I have gathered, the question of whether acts of chivalry still exists depends on different people, considering everyone is different and unique in their own way. It has come to the point where people expect too much from others. To some, chivalry might be dead, but, maybe, they're just meeting the wrong people. We cannot change people's ways, but we can influence them by showing our own acts of kindness.
Moral of this interview: Treat others the way you would want to be treated.
That is all.
Don't forget:
Ang Sees Things.
